Jake’s Silence Read online

  As we watch the team celebrate on the field, Ari asks me what we’re doing next. “I'm not sure. Sam didn't say anything about meeting up after. Maybe we just head back to the dorms?” I shrug, not getting much back from her. Just like me, she doesn't want to call it a night yet. We get an answer to that question when a sweaty and ecstatic Sam comes jogging up to us from the field.

  “We fuckin’ won!” he yells out, still panting from exertion. “Listen, we’re all headed out to a party afterward if you two would like to come.” His handsome smile shines as bright as his blue eyes.

  “Yeah, that sounds fun,” Ari answers, looking over to me. I just nod along and smile, trying to hide my hesitation.

  “Great. My truck is in the east parking lot. I’ll meet you over there. Sound good?” he asks, getting agreements from us both before he runs off back onto the field to joins his teammates.

  “He has a cute butt,” Ari says with a giggle as she watches him, and I laugh.

  “I suppose it is nice,” I admit. “Let’s get out to the car. When the lot clears out, we can drive over to where he told us,” I offer, and we do just that.

  “So, do you have any…um,” Ari starts, but stops herself as we sit in my car.

  “Any what?”

  “Do you, I don’t know…have feelings for Sam?” she blurts out.

  “Sam? Oh, no. He’s handsome, don’t get me wrong, but he isn't…” Jake, “he isn't my type.” No, I suppose I am more attracted to the unattainable type. Unattainable outlaw. Yep, that’s more my speed. “You go for it. I think he likes you anyway. You two would be cute together. But…hey, wait, aren't you—?”

  “Gay?” Ari laughs, finishing my question. “Oh, I like guys. Kimber is just a bitch. She caught me making out with one of her goody-goody cheerleading friends last year. Kicked her off the squad and she left the school in embarrassment. Kimber wouldn't let it go. Made her life a living hell, poor girl.”

  “She is a bitch. Wow.”

  “Yeah. We were just drunk and screwing around a little. It was fun, but it wasn't for her or me.” She shrugs, and we fall into a comfortable silence, waiting a bit longer as the place clears out and we are able to move freely to get over to the east side.

  Pulling up behind a row of mostly trucks and some cars, we spot the team members starting to trickle out of the stadium. Putting the car in park, I scan the rows of vehicles, spotting Sam’s truck right along with another one the bitch herself is standing next to. And she isn't alone. Wrapped in the arms of who looks like Blake, they’re both kissing and talking to each other. She reaches down to grab his…

  “Damn, that girl is giving him a hand job in the parking lot!” Ari laughs out, and I giggle right along with her. Finding the scene so funny, we don’t see Sam come up to Ari’s side of the car. He smacks the window, scaring the shit out of us. We both let out a scream, and Blake and Kimber snap their heads toward us. She must see who made the noise because she gives a scowl that could melt glass.

  “Oh my God! Are you kidding me, Sam? You scared the shit out of us!” Ari yells as he opens her door.

  “Sorry, Ari. I couldn't resist.” He smiles, his freshly showered hair still dripping and hanging down on his forehead. “So, you girls coming out tonight? Should be fun.” He waggles his brows, still leaning to peek into the car.

  “Yes, we are,” Ari answers.

  “Great. Follow me on out there.” We agree, and he runs off to his truck, stopping to talk to Blake before he gets in and starts the beast up. When he does, the rumble hits my ears sending a ripple along my spine. Reminding me of the bikes the guys ride, the vibrations the engines would send out. Jake’s was always so loud. Although I was only on it the one time when he brought me to live with Ellie, I can still feel that power between my legs, among other things he made me feel. Subconsciously, I clench my thighs together, then put my car in gear, shaking off the memory. I'm going to a college party. Because I'm a college student. It’s what I'm supposed to do. Right?

  The house party is not too far out of town in a wealthy community. Large houses are placed every couple miles, each one getting bigger as we drive up the road. When we get parked, Sam is already out and headed to my car. He opens Ari’s door, offering his hand for her to take, and I inwardly smile. Looks like he does like her. Good. “Well, ladies, come on in. Let the fun begin,” he says, keeping hold of Ari’s hand and he leads us to the large house with Greek letters displayed above the entrance.

  “A frat house? Sam, are you seriously a frat boy?” Ari questions in playful disgust.

  “Unfortunately. The rent is cheap.” He shrugs in explanation, and Ari laughs.

  “I guess I can let it slide,” she jokes back, and we walk inside through to the back where there are already party goers well on their way to being wasted. Not something I'm planning on doing, but I won’t deny a drink. Remembering what Vin instructed, I take the unopened bottle of beer offered to me instead of the cup that was thrust toward my hand. Ari also gets offered one, but Sam takes it out of her hand before she can get a sip in and gives her an unopened bottle as well. A wine cooler of some kind. Maybe this guy is one of the good ones.

  Mingling and only sticking to my one beer, I try to enjoy myself, but there are just too many people here for me to do that. I stay close to Sam’s unoccupied side for a shield of some kind, but when the need to pee wins out, I go in search of the bathroom. At first, Sam says he and Ari will go with me so I don’t get lost, but I tell him no, not wanting to pull him away from his competitive game of beer pong.

  Walking up the long set of stairs to find the promised bathroom, I open the wrong door, finding the room occupies, and quickly shut it. Scurrying off farther down the hall, I almost forget why I even came up here when a slurred voice stops me in my tracks. “Hey, there she is. Little Kimi. Shit, you’ve been glued to Sam’s side all night, was wondering when we could get you alone.” I turn to see Zeke and Blake stalking toward me, a look on their faces I know all too well. My throat goes dry, and in a panic, I grab the closest door knob, get inside the room as fast as I can, and slam it behind me, but locking it before they get it open doesn't happen. The knob turns, and the two men burst through, sending me right into the bathroom vanity. They both close in, making their intent known.

  “Please, guys. You’re both drunk and I—” Blake puts his fingers to my lips as Zeke leans in closer to me.

  “Aw, don’t be like that. You’ll enjoy this, sweetheart,” Zeke whispers, nipping at my earlobe, making me cringe and flinch away.

  “Yeah. Promise. We will make you feel real good.” Blake’s fingers now roam along my stomach, pushing up my sweatshirt to find the top of my jeans. Their voices seep into my skin, and I feel like I’m being sent back into time. Just like it did back then, my mind starts to go blank, tuning out what they’re about to do.

  Not happening. Not happening.

  Hands.

  Not here. Not here.

  Voices.

  Getting louder and louder.

  Until the hands are pulled from me, and the sounds of shouting, slamming, shattering, and groaning penetrate the space around me. “Oh my God, Kimi. Shit. Kimi, can you hear me?” I slightly make out a concerned Ari holding my unfocused face in her hands. “Kimi!” she yells, the sting flashing across my face as her hand connects my cheek to bring me out of my trance.

  “You pieces of shit. I’m fucking bringing this shit to coach. You two are going to be off the fucking team!” Sam bellows as another crash sounds.

  “I’m sorry, Kimi. Hey, look at me,” Ari instructs. When I do, her face is ghost white and she has tears in her eyes. I feel ridiculous. My first party and I go and get myself assaulted. So stupid. Instantly, I think of Jake. I want Jake.

  “You slapped me,” I whisper.

  “Sorry.” She gives me a sad, guilty look. “Let’s get you out of here.” Pulling on my arm, she leads me out the door and outside to my car, then guides me into the passenger side, taking my keys from me, sa
ying I wasn't in the right frame of mind to drive right now. I agree. Because really, I'm not. She’s right.

  Sam comes out shortly after to check on me and say goodbye to Ari. “I called the cops. They’ll be here soon. I've got the team keeping an eye on the pricks. We are getting a call on record. If you want to press charges, I will make sure you have the support of the team. Hell, of the whole damn school. That shit is wrong. I'm just glad I came when I did. Shit, Kimi, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have let you go alone.”

  “No. This isn't your fault. They are men. It’s what they do. There are only a small select few who will respect a woman. You, Sam, are one of them. Thank you for tonight,” I tell him, then reach forward to shut the door, not wanting to talk anymore.

  Five

  Jake

  My text alert goes off, pulling me from sleep—sleep I fuckin’ needed. I roll to my side, grabbing my phone to see who is interrupting that sleep, and check the time. Fucking 6:00 a.m.

  Gin: Long fucking ride, brother?

  Me: What the hell do you think?

  Gin: Just checking in. See you in a couple days.

  He doesn’t respond again, letting me get back to my much-needed sleep. The room is still dark, but I can see from underneath the curtains the sun is trying its best to get through. Fuck the sun. Shifting of the sheets catches my attention, and I look over to see a girl lying next to me. Oh, yeah. Forgot about that.

  Her movement increases, as do her sounds, as she pushes herself off the mattress with her elbows. The girl is completely naked, her tits hanging down, perky nipples just barely grazing the sheet. Her red lipstick is smeared all over her mouth, and her mascara forms dark shadows under her eyes. Don’t know why women find the need to pile that shit on. “Hey.” She smiles, using the same sultry voice she did last night. She didn't ask questions, just gave me what I needed. I liked that. Hence the reason she’s here.

  I give her a chin tip, my only response. She must take it as an invitation because she starts moving—heading south to my dick. The bitch wastes no time getting me there, making being woken up this damn early worthwhile. When she's done, her eager face looks up at me, probably wanting more. Lifting my hand, I give her chin a little tug, because I'm not a complete dick, then point to the door, letting her know we’re done. She knows the deal. She’s a club whore. With a small smile on her lips, she gets off the bed, looks around the floor for her clothes, then walks out the door completely naked without a care.

  I lie back on the bed, staring at the ceiling. Fuck my damn life, but if it weren’t for the club, I would have nothing. When my brother got gunned down, all that was left of my family was officially gone. Dead.

  We had always talked about joining the club, had dealt with them years ago when we were looking for the person responsible for the death of our cousin, Ivan. Granted, he damn near drank himself to an early death, but he also took up gambling and got himself in deep with some wannabe crime boss, Avil Cantrell. Avil had him taken out along with his mom and dad, our mother’s cousins—the only family we had left after both our parents and sister were killed in a car accident. So, yeah, shit story short, Avil Cantrell was on our fucking list. Turned out he was on a few people’s lists. Another story for another time, I guess.

  Deciding to get my ass off the bed, I pad toward the bathroom attached to the room. Nice fucking place this is too. The Siberians are one rich motherfucking club. They know how to do business and don’t get caught. Squeaky clean.

  Taking a leak, I look down and see my dick smeared in red. Fucking red lipstick. Shaking off, I flick on the shower, needing to get in there and wash the shit away. Lathering up to get the rancid lipstick off me, my mind drifts to whose lips I want to be wrapped around me. Her big blue eyes and long black hair. I always picture that hair every time I’m with a club whore. Picture weaving my fingers through it while I guide her. Or gripping her braid while I take her from behind, going so damn slow with her, taking my time, making sure she enjoys every second. Every inch. That god damn image is enough for me to blow again. All I have to do is think of that girl. My Kimi. Except she isn't mine. Fuckin’ won’t be. Man like me isn’t good enough for that girl.

  Rinsing myself off, I step out, grab the lone, faded green towel from the rack, and dry my soaked hair first, giving it a good tousle to get the water out. It has gotten a lot longer. I'm looking more like my brother, Finn, these days. Makes me miss him when I look in the mirror. My scruff has gotten out of control. Maybe I should get a trim. Looking now in the mirror, I decide a trim might be a good idea. My body has gotten bulky. With nothing much to do outside of working on bikes, the occasional vehicle, and going on a run every now and then, I took to lifting weights and sparring with my brothers. Ink’s another thing that’s new to me. On my back is the Hell’s Riders insignia, like most of my brothers have. Over my heart is my brother’s name—the piece of me missing from this world. Then, on my arm, something I got before my club sign, is a woman. A Native American woman with black hair flowing in the wind and turning into ravens at the ends, flying all the way down my arm to my wrist. If I couldn't have her, I would keep a piece of her on my arm always.

  Always mine.

  Except not.

  Walking back out to the room, I catch sight of the black lacy panties the chick left on the floor. Guess she forgot them. Shrugging, I grab my jeans, pull them over my still slightly damp skin, careful not to zip up my dick. I yank my black t-shirt over my head, topping it off with my sweatshirt, then my cut. Grabbing my phone from the side table, I put it in my pocket and walk out the door. I don’t stop anywhere to say goodbyes, just head for my bike. Shit, I'm the only one awake anyway. No need to wake anyone to let them know I'm leaving.

  Straddling my bike, I go to start it up, but stop when my phone rings. I lean forward and take it out of my back pocket. Seeing it’s Vin, I swipe the green circle across the screen and answer with a grunt.

  “Hey. I'm going to get to the point. Ellie talked to Kimi this morning.” He takes in a deep breath. “Shit, I don’t know. She said something was off. But you know Kimi, she won't let on about anything. I know you two…” he starts, but I interrupt him.

  “Got it,” I grate out, the sharpness of my tone making me cough.

  “Let me know what’s up and if I need to kill anybody,” he says. To anyone else, it would sound like an overprotective father making a joke, but I know better. Vin would tear whoever hurt that girl apart, but he would have to wait in line. I would be the one doing the tearing first.

  “Yeah,” I say, ending the call and tossing the phone in my saddlebag, trading it for my helmet. Strapping it to my head, I start up my bike and hit the open road with one destination in mind: South Dakota.

  Six

  Kimi

  When I spoke to Ellie this morning, I tried to keep what happened last night out of my voice. I know Vin—hell, I know the whole club, and they would kill the guys for even thinking about touching me.

  The door opens and in walks Ari. Freshly showered. That’s what I want: a shower. I would have last night, but I was mentally drained. Maybe it isn't normal behavior for someone who has just been assaulted, but really, with my past, it isn't anything new. Being a pawn in men’s evil games is something I'm sadly used to.

  “So, what do you want to do today?” she asks in a chipper voice, thankfully not quizzing me to see if I'm all right.

  “Not sure. First, I need a shower. Were there many people down there?” I question, getting a sad look she quickly wipes away with a smile.

  “Nope. I was the only one. Surprising for a Sunday morning.” She shrugs, tossing her dirty clothes into a basket.

  “My lucky day.” I give her a quick smile, then grab my shower caddy, towel, and robe, flip flops slapping my feet on the way down to the communal showers. Reminds me a little of the club in Rhino…which brings me back to Jake. Darn it! That man is always on my mind. No more today, Kimi. You only get one.

  Keeping on my path to the showers, I'm
relieved when I open the door to find it empty. Going to the stall the farthest down, I turn on the water and step in, careful not to get myself wet just yet. I strip off my clothes, toss them just outside the curtain, step into the hot spray, and wash away the previous night, making sure to scrub hard enough to make my skin almost raw.

  I’m starting to feel much better and just about to get out when I hear the door open. Instantly, the high pitched, angry voice of gossip fills my ears, and even with the water still hot on my skin, a cold chill runs throughout my body.

  “I can’t believe that girl. Accusing Zeke. What bullshit!”

  “I know. Like Zeke needs to force himself on a girl. Not when he has you. I mean, come on! She’s just a slut who got caught and didn't want to be labeled as such, so she’s making up this story for attention and pity.”

  “Right? And that stupid Lurch, Sam, helping her. I mean, who would believe that dumb oaf?” They both laugh, making goosebumps break out all over my still heated skin.

  “Oh shit,” one whispers.

  “What?”

  “Someone’s in here,” they whisper again. It’s quiet for a moment more, then the showers a couple stalls down start up. I wait for a few minutes, trying to gather my wits, then turn the water off. Gripping my towel, I quickly dry myself off, then wrap my hair. I make sure all my things are back in the caddy—razor, soap, conditioner—then grab my robe, pulling it on and tying it tight before stepping out of the shower. Slipping into my flip flops, I take a quick glance around, then get out of there faster than my feet can carry me, almost slipping on the slick floor before I get to the door.

  As soon as my feet hit the carpeted hallway and the door shuts behind me, I suck in a deep breath. Is that what everyone is saying about me? I can’t believe it. Kimber is vile. When I get back to the room, I don’t say a word about what I heard, choosing to forget about it—put it behind me.