Jake’s Silence Read online

  Forgetting about the weekend worked, until the next day in class, in between classes, during lunch—pretty much everywhere there were students to look and whisper at me. There was no way I was pressing charges. I wasn’t going to drag this on any longer than it already had. I will just wait. Next week, something else will happen and I’ll be old news…I hope.

  “Hey, Kimi.” I hear Sam as I’m walking to my car after a long day of dodging glaring looks and whispers.

  “Hi, Sam.”

  “I’m sorry about all this shit. I’ve been setting the story straight, but with those two assholes being assets to the team, Coach turned a deaf ear to me. Fucking bullshit. He told me to drop it or I would be benched.”

  “Don’t push it. I would hate myself if you couldn’t play football. You are so good. It isn’t a big deal. Really. Just drop it. I’m sure it will eventually go away,” I tell him, trying to brush it off.

  “You sure? Shit, I still want to beat the fuckers.” His teeth clench together in frustration along with his fists. Reaching out, I gently put my hand on his to calm him down. Hot-headed men.

  “I really appreciate everything you’ve done for me. Really, Sam. You are one of the good ones,” I say, making him settle slightly, then I lean in, hugging him. “It will be fine. I mean, I probably won’t be going to any more games but…” I try an attempt at being funny, but the tension in his arms doesn’t do unnoticed. At first, I think it’s because of the lame joke, but then he slowly backs away, his gaze directed behind me toward the parking lot.

  “Hey, do you know why there’s a biker by your car…glaring at me?” he questions, his voice sounding somewhere in between concerned and surprised. Maybe even a little awestruck. Pulling completely away, I expect to see Vin, maybe Gin. What I don’t expect is him—the very man I vowed not to think about for the rest of my life…really the rest of the day, if I’m lucky. Apparently, I’m not.

  “Uh…I’ll catch up with you later, okay?” I say, reluctantly taking a step toward the brooding man parked on his bike.

  “You sure?” Nodding, I look over my shoulder, giving him my most convincing smile. “All right. Catch you tomorrow.” Sam gives my elbow a quick, comforting squeeze, then walks past me toward his truck. I watch, holding my breath as he passes Jake in the parking lot, Jake’s scowl never wandering from Sam. Only when Sam gets into his truck and drives away does he bring his penetrating stare back to me. My body prickles at the scrutiny. Why is he here? Hesitantly, I take another step forward, then another, until I’m directly in front of the man who has haunted my thoughts for the past two years. If I’m honest, it’s been longer.

  “What are you doing here?” I ask, looking at the ground, pushing some loose rocks across the pavement. He remains quiet. Doesn’t answer. Then I remember how stupid I am. He can’t talk. Idiot. I’m about to apologize when I hear it. His voice.

  “You,” is all he says, the rasp and the struggle in the quiet whisper hitting me square in the chest.

  “Jake. You have sound,” I say breathlessly, looking up into his face for the first time in two years. His jaw is covered with an unkempt beard and his hair is almost long enough to pull back in a small ponytail. He’s no longer the clean cut, clean shaven man I remember. This one is the Hell’s Rider version of Jake.

  “Not. Everyone.” He speaks again, clearing his throat, visible annoyance on his face.

  “Does it hurt? If it does, you don’t need to talk. It’s fine. Please, I don’t want you in pain over me,” I tell him, hooking my fingers together so I don’t try to touch his face. Those lips of his are still very visible behind all that hair on his face, still full. I remember how they felt on my own, if only for a few moments. He shakes his head, silently answering my question, then opens his mouth as if he’s going to say something else, but doesn’t. Instead, he turns around and opens his saddlebag, taking something out. He extends his arm, handing me a helmet. “What…?” I start to speak as I take the shiny black helmet in my hands, but I’m cut off when he starts his bike. “I still have my bag,” I say, not knowing if he can hear me. Deciding I don’t want to bring the bag with me, I walk over to my car, pull my keys out of my bag, and unlock the door. Tossing in my bag, I tuck the keys into my pocket, then put the helmet on my head and fasten it under my chin before I turn back to Jake. Pausing for a moment, I take a deep breath, readying myself for the feeling of being pressed along his back. It’s been a while, but I do remember the gruff instruction I had gotten from the man before I rode with him the last time.

  “Hold on tight around my waist and don’t let go. If you get scared, give my cut a tug. I will stop if you need me to.”

  The memory of Jake’s voice rumbles through my ears as I settle myself right directly behind him, close enough to feel the heat radiating from his body and the smooth leather of his cut, then slide my arms along his stomach, linking my fingers together in the front. I pretend not to feel the sparks I get from touching him, nor do I pay attention to the way his solid stomach flexes under my grip. He has gotten harder, larger. Not as large as Sam, but I remember Jake being less muscled. Leaner. Now, he is clearly a complete wall of muscle.

  Backing out of the spot, he gives me a quick glance from behind, tips his chin, then we roar out of the parking lot, probably catching every eye of the students leaving their classes, but I don’t care. Jake, after two lost years, came to see me.

  Seven

  Jake

  We fly down the streets with no destination in mind, but I don’t care. She’s on the back of my bike, squeezing to beat-all-hell, but damn do I love it. I wonder if she remembers the instructions I gave her to tug on my cut if she got scared. I don’t expect it to happen; the girl is fearless. In the back of my mind, I know I need to find out who the fuck she was hugging right before she noticed I was next to her car. The fucker was huge. Would be some damn good muscle for the club—if he kept his hands off Kimi. Sure as fuck didn’t like seeing her touching another man.

  I grip harder on the handles as I navigate the highway. Taking one hand away, I place it over her clasped fingers, giving them a quick rub before bringing it back to the handlebar. She might not be mine, but that doesn’t mean I won’t keep the assholes away.

  I continue the fast pace, noticing signs for a diner coming up right off the interstate. Slowing my speed, I pull into the crumbled parking lot, careful to miss the giant potholes big enough for my bike to fall into. I remember stopping here a time or two while I was on a run, so I know the shitty looks on the outside don’t match the inside, or the service. Parking right out front, away from the only vehicle in the lot, I lean forward slightly so Kimi can get off, then dismount, kicking my stand before I do so. I try not to turn and look over at her, but damn if I can do it. Turning, I watch as she takes off her helmet and shakes her hair out like some seductress. My jeans instantly get tighter. Fuck. Not what I’m here for.

  “I forgot how much I enjoyed that,” she tells me, an enthusiastic smile spreading across her beautiful face. I swear, those damn eyes of hers are going to be the death of me. I give her a nod, then tip my chin toward the diner. “Yeah, I could eat,” she says, knowing exactly what I mean. I tuck her helmet back into the saddlebag, and without even thinking, link my fingers through hers. Leading the way into the diner, I ignore the warmth of her hand and the way it takes the chill from mine.

  The smell of a flat grill and bacon hits my nostrils as I open the door for Kimi to walk in, still keeping hold of her hand. I guide her over to a booth and reluctantly let go.

  “Have you been here before?” she asks, looking directly at me. I give her a quick nod before the waitress, Sarah, comes over to get our order. The woman’s face lights up when she sees me. The few times I’ve been in here, she’s tried to get on my dick, but I didn’t give her the time of day. I only stick to the club whores. They don’t get attached and know the deal.

  “Hi, Jake. No posse of Riders with you today?” she asks while setting down two glasses of water.<
br />
  “We’ll have two cheeseburgers with extra fries. No onion please. Oh, and hot cocoa,” Kimi says, looking over at me with a smile. “Thank you,” she says to the chirpy bleach blonde, not giving her a glance. Sarah huffs and stomps off to the kitchen to give our order. “Got fans I see.” She smiles, making mine grow. I give her a shrug. “Are you going back to Cental after you leave?” she asks. I answer with a nod as she starts to fidget with her fingers, then brings one to her mouth. When my eyes catch the action, she quickly drops them to her lap.

  “I know why you’re here. Vin sent you, didn’t he?” Nod. “I’m fine. Really. Ellie just overreacts. I had a little run-in with a couple of drunk assholes, but it’s fine now. Sam, that guy you saw me with, helped me out. Beat their asses a little too. It’s all good. Promise.” She gives me a weak smile. Suppose that Sam fucker ain’t too bad—just needs to keep his hands to himself.

  “Kill ‘em?” I ask, my slight voice making her freeze.

  “No, Jake. There’s no need. It’s over. They got the message. End of story,” she says, a little more adamant this time. I regard her for a moment, then reluctantly give her a curt nod, licking at my bottom lip. The fuckers get chapped as fuck if I don’t wear a face mask. I catch her eyes zeroing in on the action. I know she probably wants me just as much as I want her, but shit ain’t happening between us. She has been through too damn much, and I won’t put her through more. Especially in this life.

  “Classes?”

  “Lots of homework. I mean, I’ve only been there for a week, and I have had more homework than a semester in high school.” She laughs out. “But I like it.” She always seemed to be a bookworm. Whenever I went to Ellie’s to check on her while Vin was gone, I would find Kimi with a book in her hand. I’m about to say something else when Sarah comes walking up with our food and Kimi’s cocoa. She sets it all down without a word, then saunters off back to the kitchen, but not without giving me a view of her cleavage as she bends over to set my plate in front of me. Doesn’t give up that easily, I see. I watch as Kimi wraps her hands around the mug of cocoa, taking a small sniff before blowing on it, then taking a tentative sip. She must catch my eyes as she does this, because a slight pink blush spreads across her high cheekbones. “I’d never had hot cocoa before I went to live with Ellie. We had it once in a diner like this one, and it was instantly my favorite. Now, I always get it,” she says, fidgeting with her hands again. Her innocence overwhelms me. This girl has been deprived of so much of her life. Shit, I wonder if she’s even been to a fair, had junk food ‘til she was sick, or swung on a swing. She was robbed of her childhood.

  Slowly, I slide our plates out the way, then reach across the table, take her hands in mine, and give them a squeeze before stroking my thumbs along her knuckles.

  “Do more,” I tell her, wanting to say more. I clear my throat to try again. “We go do more. Me and you. More,” I say, sounding like a fucking idiot with the chopped words. Fuck, I might as well say, “Me Jake, you Kimi.” Her big eyes stare into mine, a small tear escaping from the corner. I take one hand and reach up to wipe it away. “No key,” I whisper even quieter than my normal voice.

  “Okay. We will do more. I have always wanted to roller skate.” She shrugs, making me chuckle. Me, a fucking biker, on blades. That is some funny shit. “Maybe that one can wait, though. I don’t see you on roller skates. Might not even be any in your size.” She chuckles. “Let’s eat. We can figure it out later. I’m starving.” Reluctantly, I let go of her hands to grab my plate when she tugs on them. We eat in comfortable silence, and when she’s done, she tells me she’ll be right back and heads to the bathroom. I take that as my time to lay a couple bills out to pay for the food and walk toward the front to wait. Taking advantage, Sara comes up to me and starts talking, but I just roll my eyes and tune her out.

  The restroom door swings , and Kimi comes out, her gaze zeroing in on Sarah’s actions. I don’t miss the look on her face. She’s pissed, and that’s when I notice the bitch, Sarah, is running her fingers along my cut. Narrowing my eyes, I grip her hands and lightly push her away, giving her a stern look and a head shake to solidify my point. “The others never said no, why do you keep denying me? There has to be a reason you keep coming here,” she pouts. I give her another little shove, then let her arms go as I Kimi moves closer.

  “Ready?” Kimi asks, wiping the look of anger off her face. I give her a quick nod, then take her hand once again, pulling her out the door. Guess I can cross this diner off my list of places to grab a good burger. “Do you always draw that kind of attention? Oh god, you don’t need to answer that. Of course you do.” She chuckles and rolls her eyes. “Look at you,” she says, more to herself. I don’t think I was supposed to hear that last part, but I do. Makes a cocky smile grow on my face.

  I take her back to her car, but don’t let her get off the back of my bike. “I have classes until three on Tuesdays, and four the rest. Just so you know.” She smiles, and before she can walk away, I do something stupid. I grip her hand and pull her back to me, palming her face with my other.

  “Bye, Key,” I whisper, wanting so much to brush my lips against hers. Dropping my hands away, I try not to notice the hurt look that quickly washes over her hopeful face before she walks away without saying anything in return. Fuck, I’m a dick.

  I watch like a hawk as she gets into her car and pulls out of the spot, driving away. But I don’t let her get far. I keep on her ass as she drives to the dorms and wait until she gets inside before roaring off down the road—back to Cental.

  * * *

  Only about a hundred miles away, it takes me no time to get to the spot where the old club was. By was I mean after all the bodies were cleared out and buried in the club cemetery, we burnt the clubhouse to the ground, leaving only the garage and a couple other buildings that weren’t touched by the shitstorm of that day. Now all that remains is the charred structure of the old hotel that once made up the clubhouse.

  I ride through the open gate, coming up on an empty lot. I know the guys are here, though. They must be inside the garage. Parking outside the long building, I walk inside, greeted by a thick haze of smoke. “Jakey Boy is here!” I hear Gin yell out. That’s when I realize he’s the only one here.

  “Where?” I ask when I'm in hearing range.

  “Boys are out getting some lumber and shit to start on the clubhouse. Said they were going to need hands to help build the place, so they’re probably looking for that too,” he says, bending his head to take a hit off the sapphire glass pipe in his hand. He looks back up, and one of his eyes is slightly closed and purple. He must catch my questioning look because he starts to talk again. “Rock got pissed at me earlier. Knocked my ass out with one punch. Fucker got lucky. Woke up and they were already gone.” He shrugs, blowing out his hit. “You want some?” I shake my head. The shit makes my throat hurt even more. That damn burn it gives in the back is enough to make me sick. And forget trying to talk with the cottonmouth. “Should be back soon.” As soon as he says this, I hear the roar of bikes rolling into the compound.

  Abandoning Gin, I head outside to meet my brothers. One by one, they pull next to my bike, lining them up and parking. “Jake, good to see you, brother.” Rock is the first to greet me, then the others, shaking my hand as they come closer. “Well, we’ve got our order coming in tomorrow, along with some Amish looking guys. Guess they can build a castle in a day or something. They claim they’ll have the clubhouse done within a week. Going to need to round up some women to come paint the shit, maybe decorate it or something.” He shrugs. “Guess they don’t do that. Maybe Ellie knows some chicks.” It’s my turn to shrug.

  “We’re going to need some club pussy too,” Sage says.

  “You ever think with anything other than your pecker?” one of the guys asks, getting a laugh from everyone.

  “Fuck no. Where’s the fun in that?” Sage answers. “I remember a couple hang-arounds. I’ll see if I can track them down. Maybe th
ey’ll be up for a little…painting.” His smile grows wide as he pulls his phone out to make a call and walks out of earshot.

  “Gin in there?” Rock asks, pulling me to the side. I give him a quick nod. “Fucking asshole stepped out of line this morning. Had to drop him. I'm letting it slide ‘cause I know being back here is dredging up some shit, but keep an eye on him, will ya? He might need a break from all this for a while. Fuck, I don’t know what I would do if I lost my Buggs,” he declares, bringing his hand behind his neck and scratching at the scruff prickling his chin. “You know when he saw his kids last?” he asks. Shit, I really don’t know. Last I heard, Mindy, his ex, took the kids after he knocked up Britney, a girl he had at the club. They moved to Wisconsin or some shit. Apparently she has family there. I shake my head in answer.

  “Man needs something to hold on to when his world comes crashing down. That fucker ain't got nothing but us.” I nod again. “Well, it’s getting dark. Let’s get inside. Got some cots set up. Yours is in the far corner,” he tells me before walking inside, leaving me alone in the growing darkness. Just when I'm about to go in, my phone chimes with a text. Vin.

  Before I can think better of it, I send off a text, then look up at the sky, the pink and purple hue reminding me of her. It’s a damn good thing she doesn’t live too far from here.

  Or maybe it’s a bad thing.

  Eight

  Kimi

  After Jake dropped me off and followed me to my dorm, I decided doing my homework would get my mind off him. Three hours later, I'm lying in bed, still thinking of the man. Never once did he leave my mind. I have decided to just let him in and remember the way he looked at me. How he always looked at me. Like I’m the only person he sees. Ellie told me that once, and not until I saw Vin with her did I understand what she was talking about. That intense fixation of his eyes on my every move. That brooding look when he saw me with or talked about Sam. Or how he didn't even give that blonde at the diner a glance. When I came out of the bathroom, after trying to get a grip on my nerves, I saw her all over him. Touching his cut. I almost snapped. Then I realized he wasn't paying any attention to her, or even noticing she was on him. He was too fixed on where I was to realize it. And when he pulled me back to him when I was walking to my car…for a fleeting moment, I thought he was going to kiss me, and my knees almost gave out. But he didn't. And he called me Key. He’s only called me that once. That one time he let his guard down and kissed the holy hell out of me.